I’ve kept it locked away
In a prison with walls made of bone
Buried under all the good memories.
But even I can’t keep it from surfacing
It seeps through my skull like acid
Burning its way through all the other memories,
Even the happiest ones
It burns at the roots
And it makes me want to pull my hair out
It drips down my skin, leaving burning trails behind it.
My lips feel like they are on fire
As It seeps into my mouth
I clench my jaw
Trying not to say it.
As if remembering it wasn’t enough torture
This memory tries to make me tell its story
By dancing around my tongue
Itching for me to talk about it
The toxic memory fills my ears
Remember me?
The one you supress the most?
Remember me.
Speak of me.
Let me out!
I think of the first time
I tried Ben and Jerry’s Double Fudge Brownie ice cream
I think of the first time
I liked a painting
I think of the time
I first heard “No surprises”
The only Regina Spektor song I had never heard
And I think
About how much I loved it
I remember how quietly haunting it sounds
I remember how calming it sounds
I remember how every note sounds
Like they’re slowly approaching something
That they don’t want to see them
And suddenly the toxic memory
That was eating away at me
Burning me alive
Screaming to be heard
Was gone.


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